


The Morning Sun Has Come

by popwhatmagnitude



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Confusion, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Humanstuck, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-06 10:59:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1106005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/popwhatmagnitude/pseuds/popwhatmagnitude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Falling in love is hard. It's hard, and no one understands. </p><p>Okay, Tavros <i>kind of</i> understands. He's just having a difficult time grasping the concept.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Morning Sun Has Come

**Author's Note:**

> Nobody else wrote this, so I did.

TC: MaN, i'M nOt SuRe HoW tO bE dOiNg ThIs ShIt So I gUeSs I'lL jUsT fUcKiN pUt It OuT hErE.  
TC: I rEaLlY mOtHeRfUcKiNg LiKe YoU, bRo. My HeArT uP aNd FuCkIn HoPs AlL iN mY tHrOaT wHeN wE gEt OuR cHaT oN aNd YoU'rE jUsT... sO cHiLl, yOu KnOw? So NiCe AnD uNdErStAnDiNg AnD... mAn, I'm NoT aLl SuRe WhAt ShIt I'm DoInG rIgHt NoW, i'Ve NeVeR fUcKiN fElT tHiS wAy AnD i'Ve NeVeR rEaLlY eVeN gOt AlL tO dAtInG a MoThErFuCkEr... NoT tHaT wE hAvE tO dO tHaT. lIkE, i Am FoR rEaL tOtAlLy ChIlL wItH yOuR oWn FeElInGs... Um.  
TC: HaH, tHaT wAs StUpId As FuCk, DaMn. I jUsT wAnTeD yOu To KnOw ThAt PrEtTy MuCh.  
AT: ,,,,,,,,,,,   
TC: TaV?  
AT: oKAY, uH, i APPRECIATE THIS i GUESS, aND i AM FLATTERED,  
AT: bUT YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, aND THAT'S KIND OF,  
AT: iT, aS FAR AS MY OWN FEELINGS GO,  
TC: Oh.  
TC: I sHoUlDa ExPeCtEd ThIs, HuH? nO mOtHeRfUcKeRs AiNt EvEr LiKeD mE mUcH. dUnNo WhAt I wAs ExPeCtInG. bUt I uNdErStAnD.  
TC: SoRrY.

\-- terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT] \--

 

 

That's how Gamzee gets his heart broken for the first time in his life.

He tries to get over it - he really, really does. He thinks about Karkat, and that tall blonde guy in his English class, and that buff long-haired guy in his gym class, but _nobody_ ever compares. He doesn't pursue anyone, and nobody pursues him, and his life kind of goes back to normal. He sits in the back of his classes, eats lunch alone, and argues with his brother. Completely normal.

Except Tavros doesn't walk with him to school anymore, doesn't try to weakly speak up when people give Gamzee shit for whatever it is they hate about him, doesn't message him first thing after they get done hanging out. He doesn't smile at him when they pass by each other in the hallways; he doesn't even look at all. He stares straight ahead or laughs at a joke one of his friends makes. Gamzee never realized how far below Tavros he is on the social ladder until he's on the last rung.

Maybe he's mad at him. Maybe he was just uncomfortable and needs time to accept it. Gamzee will wait for him, as long as it takes. He loves him, even if he's alone in it forever. He lets his feelings hang in the air, heavy and waiting to be caught.

 

 

\-- adiosToreador [AT] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--

AT: uH, hEY, yOU'RE FRIENDS WITH gAMZEE i'M PRETTY SURE,  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK.  
CG: I AM NOT FRIENDS WITH HIM, YOU'VE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME. I'D RATHER DROWN IN A PILE OF MY OWN PUTRID VOMIT THAN ASSOCIATE WITH THAT JACKASS.  
CG: HIS ENTIRE EXISTENCE IS A FUCKING JOKE.  
AT: sO, yOU'RE DEFINITELY HIS FRIEND,  
CG: YES. WHAT DO YOU WANT.  
AT: hE SAID SOMETHING TO ME, tHE OTHER DAY,  
CG: WOW, THAT'S REALLY EXCITING. TELL ME MORE, I'M DYING TO HEAR ABOUT THIS.  
AT: uM, oK, i DIDN'T MESSAGE YOU TO GET YELLED AT,  
AT: i NEED ADVICE, i THINK, bECAUSE APPARENTLY YOU KNOW THINGS ABOUT ROMANCE, aND WHATNOT,  
AT: i MEAN, i'VE BEEN IN RELATIONSHIPS, bUT THEY WERE ALL PRETTY MUCH COMPLETELY AWFUL, sO i DON'T THINK i'M PARTICULARLY QUALIFIED TO GIVE ANYONE ADVICE ON THE SUBJECT, mUCH LESS HANDLE THE SITUATION MYSELF,  
CG: SO HE FINALLY TOLD YOU.  
AT: uH, yEAH, i GUESS, iF YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, wHAT i'M ALSO TALKING ABOUT,  
CG: OF COURSE I AM, I'M A FUCKING GENIUS. I KNOW ALL YOUR THOUGHTS. CAN'T HIDE SHIT FROM ME, NITRAM.  
CG: GAMZEE HAS BEEN SULKING AROUND LIKE A FUCKING KICKED PUPPY FOR ABOUT A WEEK. I'M GUESSING YOU WERE AN ASSHOLE LIKE USUAL AND SAID SOMETHING, WHICH YOU SHOULDN'T DO, EVER. YOU SHOULD NOT EVER SPEAK, SERIOUSLY. YOU ARE SUCH A GODDAMN TOOL.  
AT: oK, tHANKS,  
CG: HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU HOW MUCH I HATE YOU?  
AT: wE DON'T TALK VERY OFTEN, sO NO, eXCEPT FOR JUST THEN i GUESS,  
CG: ALRIGHT, WELL, I HATE YOU AND PRETTY MUCH ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND THE STUPID NERDY GAMES YOU PLAY ALL THE TIME LIKE YOU'RE A FUCKING CHILD OR SOMETHING. NO WONDER YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH YOUR EMOTIONAL BULLSHIT ON YOUR OWN.  
CG: AND IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING, YES, I AM REALLY FUCKING MAD. I'M ALWAYS MAD, BUT I'M MADDER THAN USUAL, AND IT'S BECAUSE YOU CANNOT PROCESS THE CONCEPT OF BEING A DECENT HUMAN FUCKING BEING, MUCH LESS A DECENT FRIEND. I KNOW I COMPLAIN ABOUT HIM A LOT, BUT I CARE ABOUT GAMZEE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH OF A MORON THE KID IS. HE'S A REALLY FUCKING GOOD PERSON.  
AT: yEAH, hE IS,   
CG: IF YOU REALLY CARED ABOUT HIM YOU WOULDN'T HAVE PRACTICALLY SLAPPED HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE, DICKMUNCH.  
AT: i DIDN'T MEAN TO,  
CG: YEAH, WELL, YOU DID. HE SPILLS HIS FUCKING HEART OUT AND YOU RESPOND WITH SOME DOUCHEY STATEMENT AS PER FUCKING USUAL AND DON'T EVEN APOLOGIZE. THEN YOU AVOID HIM. CONSISTENTLY.  
CG: LISTEN.  
CG: GAMZEE HAS ABANDONMENT ISSUES UP THE ASS. AND HE REALLY FUCKING LOVES YOU. THERE HAVE BEEN TIMES HE'S SHOWN UP ON MY PORCH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT COVERED IN BRUISES, BUT THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST HURT I'VE EVER SEEN HIM.  
AT: yEAH, tHAT'S, kIND OF,  
AT: wHY i MESSAGED YOU,  
AT: bECAUSE i FUCKED UP,  
CG: NO SHIT, EINSTEIN.  
AT: i NEED TO FIX IT, bUT i'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE HOW, aND i SUPPOSE THE MAIN PROBLEM i'M HAVING HERE, iS WITH MY OWN FEELINGS,  
CG: I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING THERAPIST. GO CRY TO SOMEONE WHO CARES.  
AT: oK, sHUT UP, i'M TRYING TO, uH, i'M NOT SURE WHAT i'M TRYING TO DO?  
AT: bUT, lIKE, i LOVE HIM, i THINK,  
AT: i DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT HIM, i DON'T EVER WANT TO HURT HIM, hE IS SO WONDERFUL, i'M JUST NOT GOOD AT THIS,  
AT: lOVING PEOPLE, tHAT IS,  
AT: mAYBE i'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE OF MY FEELINGS, hONESTLY,  
AT: bUT i CARE ABOUT HIM, mORE THAN i CARE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE,  
AT: i WAS JUST SHOCKED, wHEN HE SAID THAT, aND i WASN'T SURE HOW TO RESPOND,  
CG: THAT'S REALLY GREAT, BUT THERE'S A SAD JUGGALO CREATING A BURRITO OUT OF HIMSELF ON MY BED RIGHT NOW.  
CG: SO FRANKLY, FUCK OFF.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering adiosToreador [AT] --

 

 

Gamzee's first kiss is nothing like in the movies.

Tavros invites himself over like he hasn't ignored him for a week. Like nothing has changed. But really, everything has. Each smile they share now is forced, each laugh is a little too short.

They sit on Gamzee's bedroom floor with controllers in their hands, playing a game that neither of them are entirely concentrating on. Gamzee is stiff and careful to not shift too much so that he doesn't accidentally touch Tavros. Tavros keeps glancing at him, at the way the muted afternoon light from the window falls on his pale face just right, the pattern of his freckles, the little disappointed noises he makes when he fucks up in the game. He keeps scrunching his nose up and biting his lip, and at that moment, Tavros's character falls off a building onto a car and dies, because he just can't take his eyes off the boy next to him. Nothing else matters.

He is in love with Gamzee Makara.

He pauses the game, and when Gamzee turns to him in confusion, he brings his hand to Gamzee's face and brushes his bangs away from his forehead. His eyes are the deepest shade of blue Tavros has ever seen, and his eyelashes fall perfectly over them, long and symmetrical like the brush strokes of an artist.

"I'm sorry," Tavros whispers, and then he kisses him.

It's slow, tentative, and filled with uncertainty on both sides. Gamzee sits motionless with his eyes wide open, his whole body feeling warm and shaky, and Tavros presses further, softly, in an attempt to get a response. He slips his arm around Gamzee and brings his other hand to his face, holding his jaw. Gamzee's eyes flutter shut, and he kisses him back.

Gamzee's lips part in a gasp and Tavros slides his tongue in, tracing every surface of his mouth, breathing hard through his nose. Gamzee makes a soft noise and shyly rests his hand on Tavros's chest.

Tavros breaks away to kiss down the side of Gamzee's face to his neck, sucking hard enough to leave faint little red spots, and Gamzee falls apart into a panting mess in his arms. This is all happening so quickly, and it's like nothing he's ever experienced, nothing he's ever expected, and all they're doing is making out. He shouldn't be getting so worked up, but fuck, this is _Tavros_ who's kissing him and holding him, it's _Tavros_ who's trying to make him feel good, and that's really the only thing he's ever wanted.

Tavros nibbles at the skin behind his ear and Gamzee lets out a soft whimper, shivering when he feels a hand sliding up his shirt. Hold on, though. He wants this but... he doesn't, really.

"Wait, I..." he breathes. He swallows thickly, looking down. Tavros moves back instantly but doesn't let go.

"Uh, I kind of... yeah, uh. Whoops," Tavros stammers. Gamzee laughs quietly and burrows his head in his chest. His smile is threatening to tear his face in half.

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

They sit in silence for a few long moments, content in each other's arms.

This is certainly not what Gamzee expected when Tavros showed up randomly.

"What just motherfucking happened?"

"Uh, you looked, like, really cute, and I like you a lot, so I kissed you." If Gamzee's stomach wasn't swarming with butterflies already, it definitely is now. He looks up into the warm brown eyes of the boy he's loved since the day they met.

"For real?"

Tavros grins. "Yeah. I... love you, I think. Sorry it took me so long to figure it out."

Gamzee feels like he's going to burst. This is it. He's dead and in heaven. There's no way this is really happening.

"Oh my god. Oh my _god_. I love you so much."

Tavros chuckles and Gamzee clings to him like his life depends on it, and maybe it does.

"We should probably talk about, pretty much this whole thing, though," Tavros says. "But not now." He kisses him again and they melt into each other, breathing and moving in sync, two lifelines flowing together. The video game is never unpaused.


End file.
